I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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