brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Randomize
