ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
