I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
Randomize
