how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
