You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
