Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
