Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
