I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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