fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
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