ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
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