Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
