I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Randomize
