I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
is wine microwaveable?
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
