I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
