So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
