Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Randomize
