Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
