Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
