Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
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