Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
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