is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Randomize
