if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
