I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
My penis needs a shock collar
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
Randomize
