Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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