Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
Randomize
