that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
