New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
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