so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
