I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Randomize
