.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
Congratulations! We have a period
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Randomize
