I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
