@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
