Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
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