Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
Randomize
