I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Randomize
