don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
i think my mom watched the whole time
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
is this the sara with the beer cane?
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
She bit a glass in half.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
