i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize
