drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
Randomize
