Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Randomize
