Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize
