You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
