Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
