New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
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