His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
I understand Curling. That high.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize
