Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Randomize
