also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
