My first STD was from a foam party
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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