And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
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