Banned from zoo.
Again?
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
