So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Randomize
