his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
Randomize
