Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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